Blue Virga
by bethanime
Summary: It has been a year since Megamind had taken over Metro City.  Things have been peaceful for the town and most of the people in it.  Roxanne and Minion think all of that can change after unexpected guests pay a visit.
1. Chapter 1

"Why not? It worked so well with Hal."

"I... I can't tell if you're being serious or not, but that is beside the point!" Megamind turned to face Roxanne. He put his hands on her shoulders and hunched down to slightly below her eye-level. "Hal didn't matter to me. He was just a way for me to deluge myself into thinking I had meaning again. You mean more to me than anyone... well, except maybe Minion... and I don't want to even imagine losing you."

Megamind widened his eyes and gave a little pout. Roxanne sighed and looked down. She tilted her head away from Megamind's. She glanced at him through the fringe of hair covering her eyes.

"Delude." She said with a half-smile.

Megamind pulled a few inches away from Roxanne. His left eyebrow also rose a few inches. He gave her his most adorable confused look.

"You didn't deluge yourself. You deluded yourself." Roxanne straightened her neck. She reached out and brushed her index finger across Megamind's cheeks.

"What's the difference? It doesn't change the fact that I'm not turning you into a superhero." Megamind dragged Roxanne's hand away from his cheek and lightly kissed her finger. They had this conversation at least once a week. He didn't get upset with Roxanne for asking anymore. He wished she would stop. Every time she brought up the topic, he would have nightmares at night.

What if he had not only given Hal super powers, but also super negative emotions? Roxanne had said over and over again that Hal, although extremely weird, had never seemed aggressive. He never tried to pursue Roxanne to the point of being a stalker either.

"...sir?" Megamind snapped out of his reverie. He looked at his ape-fish friend. "I said, there is something on our radar, sir." Minion repeated himself for probably the umpteenth time.

"Oh, goody!" Megamind clapped his hands together. He took striding steps and leaped into his commander's chair. It completed two 360 and one 180 degree turn before he grabbed on to his control panel.

While Megamind was busy with his sensors, Roxanne backed away and toward the exit.

Minion watched her go out of the corner of his eye. He had come in at a good time. Or rather, the bizarre blips on the screen had come in at a good time. He could see both sides of their argument, but he didn't want to get caught in the middle.

It all started after the Tighten fiasco. Ms. Ritchie decided she could help Sir out as a partner. Of course, Sir would have seen Ms. Ritchie as a sidekick at most, damsel-in-distress at least. When they were at Metro Man's hideout, Ms. Ritchie was serious about teaming up and going "gangsta" on Tighten. Minion supposed that's when the idea came to the forefront of Ms. Ritchie's mind.

Ms. Ritchie started asking Sir to give her super powers since the opening of his museum. She wants to help him; he thinks he'll be endangering her. The usual lovey-dovey stuff. Luckily for everyone, the only thing Metro City had to worry about since Tighten's defeat was the normal crime: robberies, murders, rape, underage drinking and porn-viewing. These were the easy things.

When Sir was a supervillian, he may not have been the most efficient person, but he instilled fear into people. Whether civilians were afraid of his complexion or big head instead of his villainous ways, Minion didn't know. In the denouement of Sir's "Evil Overlord" reign, Tighten came around. He was bad. He was badder than Sir. He had almost destroyed every thing. They had beaten him in under a day. Since then, everything had been calm in Metro City. Minion didn't think Ms. Ritchie would be in perilous danger if Sir did give her super powers.

But those bleeps could change all of that.


	2. Chapter 2

Megamind saw two different foreign objects beginning to pass through Earth's orbit. Normally, the aliens are falling stars. The meteorites burn themselves out and into small pebbles before they ever reach the earth. These new foreign objects were bigger than most of the meteorites that succumb to Earth's gravity. That, and they were keeping their shape.

"Code: to the observation room!" Megamind put his hands together and laughed maniacally.

Roxanne was already on her way to Metro Man's pad. If Megamind wouldn't help her help him, she would do it herself. She still had the photographs she had taken when she and Bernard infiltrated Megamind's evil lair. Even without the pictures, she had spent enough time organizing to remember the important things.

She thought back to her times piecing together the seemingly thousands of clues she retrieved from Megamind. She had spent hours and days putting rhyme to reason and duplicating his evil project board. On the night Tighten had tried to kill her... the first time... everything had finally made sense. She had the answer to her wishes. All she needed was a little DNA from Metro Man, and she would be able to fight side-by-side with Megamind.

She wouldn't be able to help out all of the time, she thought and patted the news van she was driving. Someone in the lairhold had to maintain a day job. Poor Minion. No matter how qualified he was, no one would want to hire a talking fish in a gorilla's body. He may scare away the tourists. Megamind was facing the same dilemma as Metro Man. He had to devote most of his time to monitoring the city. Although, now that Megamind wasn't a villain and Tighten was depleted of his powers, he didn't have any big nemeses to fight. Small -time drug lords and mafia bosses could become a problem later on, but no one had reached Megamind's dysfunctional level of villainy.

Roxanne would rather not wait until someone reached and exceeded that level before doing something. Megamind spent most of his days patrolling streets, watching his radar and the news, and listening to police scanners. He wasn't waiting around for someone to become a master bad guy. Neither would Roxanne Ritchie.

She stopped the news van in front of the schoolhouse. Instead of knocking, Roxanne walked directly in.

"Met... Music Man?" Roxanne called out. The hallway was dark, but she could see light coming from the living room. She crept to the room, extending her neck to peer around the door frame. No one was in the living room. She could hear running water coming from the room beyond. She stood completely still for a few seconds and listened. The water flowed out of the pipes at a constant speed. He must be taking a shower.

Roxanne surveyed the room. Metro Man's various outfits adorned the walls. Beside each outfit now stood a guitar. Next to his first superhero suit was a ukelele. Roxanne smiled to herself and rolled her eyes. Metro Man may have once been a hero, but he has always been a goofball. He always seemed so sure and confident with himself to a ridiculous extent. I guess if you don't love yourself, no one will, Roxanne thought to herself.

She walked to the ukelele-spandex pair. The water pressure in the pipes was decreasing. She looked the suit over until she found a few strands of dark brown hair. She picked them up with tweezers and threw them into a sandwich bag. Roxanne saw a shadow slide under the door across the room. The door slowly creaked open, but Roxanne was already in the van.


	3. Chapter 3

Megamind looked through the telescope. He saw two fireballs falling together. They were definitely bigger than the sky-pebbles. The shapes of the vessels had surprised him on the radar. Now that he could see them in 3D, he was excited.

"Minion, Minion!" Megamind bounced in his seat with his eye still through the viewfinder.

"You're hitting me, sir." Minion said as Megamind gave him a few rough taps on the arm.

"Look. Do these look familiar?"

"Sir, there is only one peephole." Megamind jumped out of his chair and started pacing as Minion looked at the objects. Ever since their big fight, Minion had started to speak up more. He didn't want the negativity to build up until it exploded. He hated to fight with anyone, especially Sir.

"Now that you mention it, sir..."

"Yes?" Megamind was hopping from one foot to the next with his hands clasped together.

"They look a little like those Asian squatting toilets, sir." Minion zoomed out to where the vessels were flaming specks in the sky. "I hope that's not what they are. It looks like they'll make impact soon."

Megamind pushed his furry-scaly friend out of the way. "Interesting, but you're wrong. They look like the shuttles Moo-a and Poo-a put us on when our planet was shallowing a worm hole. Look at the intricate design."

"The planet was swallowed by a worm hole, and the intricate design is fire, sir."

"Yes, you may be right. I wonder if it's symbolic for our old home." Megamind had zoomed back in on the shuttles.

"No, sir, I mean the shuttles are on fire."

"Oh! The other one looks different... more golden than the beautiful one. Almost like the one my archfrienemy landed in." The two space shuttles were exactly the same size, but there were a few minute differences. Minion walked slowly to the newly installed window. The shuttles were so close, he didn't need the telescope to see the minor differences.

"Code: take cover, sir." Minion said expressionlessly and slowly. The world seemed to be moving in slow-motion. Minion's mouth hung open and his right arm was poised in front of his chest. Megamind had stepped away from the telescope and walked slowly to the window as well. His mouth was also hanging open. His face changed from shock and disbelieve to unadulterated glee in a matter of milliseconds.

Then time sped up. The first shuttle was almost on top of them. Megamind and Minion simultaneously jumped in opposite directions. Megamind slid under a table full of good guy gadgets. Minion landed fish tank first on the invisible car. He did a barrel roll on the hood and crouched on the opposite side.

A bright light filled the room. The shuttles' crash landings sounded like a symphony. First came the brass instruments: boom, boom. The strings came next: skreeee ee ee ee. The wind instruments and bells followed with whistles of steam and twinkling of glass. It was the most beautiful music Megamind had ever heard. It sounded like home.

Roxanne swung around a curve. The observatory gave her a warm welcome. More like a fiery welcome. The whole western wing of the ex-evil lair was on fire. Roxanne jumped out of the van as she dialed 911.

"I'd like to report a fire at the abandoned observatory," Roxanne said as she ran toward the lair.

"Has Megamind been up to his old hijinks again?" The operator said in a nasally voice that was all too familiar.

"Bernard...? You're a 911 dispatcher now? Hurry with the firemen." She went through the main entrance. So far the fire hadn't spread. The smoke wasn't thick in in the areas surrounding the entrance either. She continued on to the western wing.

"Megamind? Minion?" No reply. She whispered to herself, "Where are you, guys?"

As she got closer to the observation room, she heard laughing and coughing. And firetruck sirens. The real Bernard acted faster than he spoke at least. She ran inside the room with her arm covering her face.

When she peered over her arm, what she saw made her gasp.


	4. Chapter 4

"Do we come in peace? He has your sense of humor, darling," the blue man said to the woman.

"Moo-a! Poo-a!" Megamind had seen his planet being sucked into oblivion. Secretly, he had always hoped his parents had made it out alive. "How did you survive?" He waved his hand in front of his parents' eyes and pinched their cheeks.

"We have had a long journey, son. Many light-years worth. We need to recuperate." Now that Megamind noticed, his parents were breathing haggardly. His mom and dad were leaning on each other to keep from falling over. He wondered from which corner of the universe they had come from.

"We have a spare bedroom set up." Roxanne walked inside the room. Despite all of the fire and smoke outside, the house didn't seem to be burning down. Or burning period on the inside. The spaceship that landed in the middle of the room only looked big enough for one person. She couldn't imagine the two blue aliens fitting in there comfortably.

The hole that the shuttle had made was closing itself off. Roxanne could hear the firemen outside. From the way they were speaking back and forth, it seemed like they weren't having much luck putting out the fire.

Roxanne put her arm around the woman. She looked at Megamind with wide eyes. When he looked at her, she turned the right side of her mouth down and nodded at the man. Megamind put his arm around the man. Together, they led the couple to a room close to Megamind's bedroom.

"I can't wait for all the stories about how great I am. You're going to love them!" Megamind was barely able to contain all of his joy and excitement.

"I'm sure we will, son," the man said with a weary smile.

While Sir was dancing around his parents, Minion had checked on the other spacecraft. It had been right behind Sir's parents' craft. It had been absent at the point of impact. Minion had scoured the skies and found nothing. He scanned the horizon to see if there were any other burning houses.

He saw a thin sliver of smoke coming up from across the river. He zoomed the telescope on his and Sir's old schoolhouse. Sir had told him that Metro Man's hideout was in the schoolhouse, but Sir hadn't told him where it was.

The golden shuttle was there. A woman had stepped out. She was carrying... something. She turned her back before he could tell what it was. The woman glanced over her shoulder and looked around. She made eye contact with Minion. Minion stepped away from the telescope. He put his hands on his furry upper arms and his little fish body shivered. He had never seen that much fear on someone's face before.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm going to show you something exciting!" Megamind raised one eyebrow, and threw off the bathrobe he had put on moments before. He was left naked except for a tiny black bikini with a blue streak of lightning. He put his hands on his hips and thrust out his chest.

"Hm. As fun and interesting that sounds, I have some things I need to wrap up for work," Roxanne said as she walked toward the door in her more modest night clothes.

"B-but, Roxanne! You're going to give me blue balls." Megamind ran to the door as Roxanne was walking out.

"I'm pretty sure that's not my fault. I'll be back soon. I'm not opposed to anything exciting then, okay?" Roxanne kissed Megamind on the top of his head and patted his cheek.

"Fiiiiine." Megamind sighed exasperatedly and trudged to bed. "But, when you get back... mwuahahahaha!" Megamind pulled the blankets up to his chin. His fingers danced on his chest.

Roxanne smiled and rolled her eyes as she closed the door. Megamind's parents had instantly gone to bed when she showed them the extra bedroom. Roxanne wondered how far and long they had traveled. Roxannne couldn't imagine going far at a time in such a tiny vehicle.

Megamind's parents were lucky they didn't come before now. Before Roxanne moved in, Megamind and Minion barely had bedrooms for themselves. Minion's external body was his bed, but he didn't have a big, furnished room all to himself. Roxanne knew Megamind had something similar to a bedroom before she moved in. He had gadgets and plans strewn all over the place, including on his bed. He probably slept with his notes before Roxanne came.

To be honest, Roxanne had been a bit hesitant to move into the lair with Megamind and Minion. She had been left with few options after Megamind dehydrated Carlos. Carlos was the doorman and landlord. He didn't care if Megamind was the new superhero. Carlos had been dehydrated by him, and he didn't want anything to do with Megamind or anyone personally associated with him. Carlos gave Roxanne her 30-day notice. Finding another apartment had proven to be more difficult than Roxanne thought. Hal and Megamind had destroyed plenty of the city in their big fight. Apartment buildings and offices had been hit the hardest. The apartments Roxanne could find were way out of her price range. Plus, Carlos probably wouldn't have given a good recommendation. Megamind offered... no, insisted, that Roxanne stay at the observatory. Roxanne supposed it helped both of them. Roxanne didn't have to pay rent and had companionship. Megamind had someone to help spruce up the non-evil lair and could protect Roxanne anytime.

Roxanne walked to the torture room. Nothing had changed in here. Her hostage chair was still in the middle, Megamind's dials and buttons and screens were there. Roxanne could see the spaces in the wall where the different torture devices came out. She crossed her arms over her chest and smiled at the memories. All of her and Megamind's first encounters had taken place in this room. All of them until he had taken over the city. It seemed longer than a year. Things had changed so quickly with Roxanne's life after Megamind disguised himself as Bernard. Her point of view on Megamind, Minion, and Metro Man, her home, her love-life, even her fashion style had changed since then.

"Ms. Ritchie?" Minion walked into the torture room.

Roxanne gasped and turned around. Her hand hit her pocket, and a sandwich bag fell out. The hair she had gathered earlier spilled onto the floor. "Minion! You startled me." Roxanne held a hand to her chest and took deep breaths.

"Sorry. I was wondering if Sir's parents had told you anything about their visit."

Roxanne noticed that the sandwich bag had fallen. She bent down and scraped the pieces back with her tweezers.

"No, they fell asleep as soon as they hit the bed. Why? What's wrong?"

"Well, there were two spaceships. One landed at Metro Man's hideout. The woman who came out was probably his mother. She looked distressed about something. I was hoping Sir's parents had said something."

Roxanne wondered what could have caused both Megamind and Metro Man's parents to come at the same time. Minion had caught something she and Megamind had missed. Something must be wrong somewhere. "I wonder if they're here for refuge or to warn us," Roxanne thought aloud.

The perfect time for Roxanne's experiment had come. She didn't know what kind of evil they would be fighting, but she and Minion both knew things wouldn't be peaceful in Metro City for much longer.


	6. Chapter 6

"Minion, I have a question." Roxanne had been thinking about this question for a long time, but it came to the forefront of her mind when Megamind's parents crash-landed. "You and Megamind must have done some kind of homework in school. Do you have some of the homework laying around?"  
>Minion's eyes went wide. It was his turn to look frightened. "W-what do you want those for, Ms. Ritchie?"<p>

"So you do have copies! I want to investigate something." Roxanne couldn't ask her real question. She wanted to see if she could figure it out on her own. Minion took her to the basement where Megamind and Bernard had heartily "fought."

"I think I put them down here... You promise you won't laugh or tell Sir, right?" Minion was unsure if he was doing the right thing. He trusted Ms. Ritchie, but he was curious and scared to know the reason she wanted 10-20-year-old homework.

"I promise I won't tell Megamind," Roxanne said as she jumped off the last step. Minion walked to a trunk in a dark corner. As Roxanne walked closer, her face began to glow. Light seemed to be coming from the cracks in the case. The lid creaked open when Roxanne tugged.

Jackpot. Many papers were jumbled in the trunk. Some were yellow with big, fat lines. Others were college-ruled. Others still had no lines at all. The homework varied from math, geography, English, all kinds of sciences, and political sciences and history. The scores were all basically the same. They ranged from 0 to 35. Roxanne flipped through a couple of math papers. She was no mathematician, but the work looked right. The English, on the other hand, deserved the low scores. Roxanne giggled at a few of Megamind's mistakes.

However amusing some of the papers looked, Roxanne couldn't find what she was looking for. Beside the date on all of the papers was either a question mark, the number 0106, or, on later papers, Megamind.

"Damn!" Roxanne slumped down in exasperation. "Alright, tell me. What is Megamind's real name?' Roxanne looked pleadingly at Minion.

"That's all? I thought you had something up your sleeve!" Minion sighed with relief. "Unfortunately, Ms. Ritchie, I've always called him 'Sir.' I thought I remembered his parents calling him that, but that does seem a little absurd."

"Hmm." Roxanne would ask Megamind's parents in the morning. They would definitely know, right? "Thanks, Minion. I don't hear the firemen anymore. I'm going to check on them. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, Roxy..." Minion said quietly with his arm raised. His hand was erect, but went limp when Roxanne walked out. Minion knew Roxanne was planning something. And he knew that Sir would not like it.

Roxanne went upstairs and hid behind the hatch. Minion clinked and clanked out of the basement shortly after her. Roxanne waited until he was out of sight to go inside the laboratory. She flicked through her tiny memo pad. She had simplified Megamind's how-to-make-a-hero equations and made them easier to read. She also left out the reminder to eat more vegetables.

With instructions in hand, she got to work. She mixed all kinds of different chemicals and hair until finally, a little pill came out of a giant machine. Roxanne had cut the ingredients in half, but used double the DNA. She figured that since she was a female and of a much smaller frame than Hal, she would need more of Metro Man's powers. Roxanne prepared a small infusing needle. She tied a rubber band around the upper part of her arm. She dripped alcohol on a cotton swap.

"I knew it!" Minion had sneaked behind Ms. Ritchie while she was experimenting. Roxanne fumbled with the needle.

"Minion! If you knew it then why did you scare me? I could have hurt myself!" Roxanne breathed haggardly and clutched her chest with the hand not holding her needle.

"I thought I could help you, Ms. Ritchie." Minion gently took the needle out of Ms. Ritchie's hand. "It's better if you don't give the shot yourself. Remember how sore and swollen Hal was when he was shot?"

"To be fair, that pellet had bounced around and gained a lot of momentum. I won't object." Roxanne held her arm out and squeezed her eyelids together. She knew she had an ally in Minion, but she didn't know he would be her ally against Megamind too. "Why? Why are you helping me?"

"You would do this anyway, Ms. Ritchie. It doesn't matter if we think it's a bad idea or not. I can't see how you could be any worse than Hal. Done." Minion placed the needle on the chemical table and put a band-aid on Roxanne's arm.

"It's not as red or swollen as Hal's was. Good job. And thank you. Really." Roxanne smiled and kissed the side of Minion's fishbowl. Minion blushed and did flips in his bowl. Roxanne headed toward her and Megamind's bedroom.

Minion hoped that there wouldn't be any bad side effects for Ms. Ritchie. He wanted Ms. Ritchie and Sir to get over this bump in their relationship. He just wanted to know that he had done the right thing.

Roxanne could see the light under the door. She looked at her arm. Her arm didn't hurt. It throbbed. The throbbing was uncomfortable, but it wasn't painful. Roxanne peeked around the door. Megamind was laying in the bed with his head propped on his hand. His eyes were closed and drool was dripping out of his mouth. How can he sleep like that? Roxanne smiled to herself as she shook her head. He never ceased to amaze her. Roxanne slipped into bed next to him. She put her hand under Megamind's head and lowered his giant, blue head. She pulled the the blankets over him and snuggled close. She kissed the bridge of his nose, and dozed into a deep sleep.

Megamind opened one of his eyes to look at Roxanne. He smiled and closed his eye again.

"How long exactly did it take for Hal to get his powers?" Roxanne asked Minion the next morning when he was cooking.

"Well, I believe it took an hour or two at most. It was after he woke up from a- uh- nap." Minion scratched his non-existent chin with his spatula. Scrambled egg dripped from the front of his glassed-in face.

"Weird..." Roxanne stretched her arms out in front of her. She watched as she flexed her fingers. She didn't feel any different. She hadn't noticed any super powers. She balled her hand into a fist and punched Minion's arm as hard as she could. Her hand bounced off Minion's fuzzy arm. He didn't even stop making breakfast. Roxanne shook her hand and sat down.

"And then I saved the day!" Megamind walked in followed by his mom and dad.

"Such a fascinating story." Megamind's mother patted him on the arm as she took her own seat at the table.

"Good morning. I hope you slept well." Roxanne greeted Megamind's parents with a smile. "I have a few questions to ask."

Minion placed a cup of coffee in front of Sir's dad and mom. He fixed a plate for each person at the table, giving Megamind's parents slightly more food.

"What is Megamind's real name?" Roxanne asked bluntly. Megamind spewed coffee from his mouth. Megamind wanted to find the answer to that too. He couldn't remember his real name, but he had never thought to ask in an outright manner. He had planned to sneak and skirt around it for a while. Of course, he was never good at hinting. He would have ended up blurting out the question like Roxanne.

"Why, it's Lex Darser se Sird," said Megamind's father.

"Wha-?" Megamind, Roxanne, and Minion all exclaimed at once.

"Lex Darsher she Shird?" Megamind repeated.

"Darling, it's Lex Darther the Third. He has a problem with English sometimes. I've noticed it in the majority of males from my planet," said Megamom.

"That explains a lot," Minion whispered to Roxanne. Roxanne could only nod.

"So, you're Lex Darther Jr.?" Roxanne leaned forward.

"No. We don't have formal names on our planet," Megamom answered. "Since we change depending on who we are interacting with, we are called by positions or words of endearment. For example, all of my mother's daughters are "Daughter" to her. I am Wife, Darling, Beloved, Gorgeous, and Feisty to my husband. Our names depend on our situation and who is speaking to us." Megamom sipped her orange juice. Megadad winked at her.

"Then why does Megamind...Lex... have a name?" Roxanne was mentally scratching her head. Alien culture was strange.

"Sat's simple. I wanted to be the first at somesing. When Lex's moser had him, I was going srough a good stage in my life. I was fascinated by human culture. They had permanent and interesting names. I wanted my son to have sat. I read some human literature, and we decided we wanted our son to be smart like Lex Luser. We also wanted him to be a great leader like Dars Vader. We tacked on se Sird to make him more regal."

"That went from cute to annoying quickly," Megamind interjected.

"We know how you feel," Roxanne jabbed back at Megamind. "That explains why you thought Megamind's name was Sir. Your poor baby fish memory couldn't handle such a long name. And the closest you could find to "sird" was "sir" in English." Roxanne stood up with excitement. And then fell down with pain. She felt convulsions rack her entire body. She couldn't control anything. She couldn't focus. She lost her vision, hearing, and, shortly after, consciousness.


	7. Chapter 7

She slid apart one pair of eyelids slowly. She was laying in her and Megamind's bed. The white sheets had burn marks on them. Megamind was pacing back and forth at the foot of their bed. Roxanne tried to sit up. The bed creaked as she moved. Megamind was by her side in a flash.

"How do you feel?" Megamind had her hand. As Roxanne sat up, she noticed something. The further she stretched, the more limbs she saw. She threw back the blankets. From above her waist to below her hips were 3 pairs of extra legs.

"Don't panic. I'm going to find out what went wrong," Megamind assured her. He spoke with a gentle voice he hardly used.

Roxanne swung 8 legs over the side of the bed. The extra legs weren't the only new thing about her. "Great, as if my butt couldn't get any bigger."

Roxanne thought back to the previous night. She knew the hair must have been Metro Man's. He didn't have any pets, and if he had groupies, he wouldn't let them around his capes. No, the contamination must have happened elsewhere...

Minion. When Minion startled her the first time, she had been near the torture equipment. That was where the "Arachnus Deathicus" had been killed a year ago. She dropped her packet of hair. The hair fell out. What if she had picked up the spider with the hair? She hadn't personally wanted to clean within a ten-foot radius of Megamind's play things. She doubted Megamind knew what a broom was. Minion usually took care of the housework, but it's possible he could have missed picking up the dead spider. For a year.

Roxanne facepalmed and groaned. You would think she would have noticed something that creepy on her DNA samples. Even though it was a far-fetched conclusion, it was the likeliest one she had.

"It's alright. We still have the diffusing option. Although, I do like the new backside." Megamind clawed the air in front of him while he growled.

"Son, we have news to tell you. Sis may be se best chance we've got to explain." Megamom and dad looked grim when they came into Roxanne's make-shift recovery room.

"As long as Mother explains, we'll all be fine." Megamind motioned for Roxanne to get back in bed. He sat beside her with his feet dangling off the side.

"We didn't come just to visit you. We came on a mission. Our entire planet was in pieces after we went through the wormhole. Not a single building was standing on ours or the neighboring planets' land. Many people died. We were weak, thirsty, hungry. The ground was ruined in most places. It would take years of irrigation to fix parts of the damage. But as we were hurtling through space, we were making progress. The crops couldn't grow. Our climate changed as we got closer and further away from different stars. Luckily, we stayed at safe distances most of the time.

"Then, one day, they came. These alien life forces came to our planet. They ransacked and destroyed everything we had rebuilt. The killed children in front of their parents and parents in front of their children. We had to escape. We only had one shuttle left to us. A few of the alien spacecrafts followed us out of our planet's orbit. They would have killed us if it wasn't for a golden shuttle. The shuttle appeared from out of nowhere. It shot down two of the spacecrafts in no time. Then it disappeared. It was closing in on the third ship, and then it was gone. We continued our escape.

"After what seemed like weeks, the golden shuttle reappeared. A woman appeared on our screen. She and her husband and infiltrated the last alien ship. They fought the crew on board and took all of the notes they could. The espionage had its consequences. The woman's husband did not make it out alive. However, the woman deciphered their chart. It seemed like the next planet they would attack would be Earth. Not only that, but this very town."

"Are you serious?" Roxanne was leaning forward. Her and Megamind's eyes were wide. At some point during the story, Minion had come into the room.

"I'm afraid so. That's not all. The woman was able to read some of the alien notes. Supposedly, the aliens had sent a diplomat to ask for an alliance. They lost contact with the agent a year ago." Megamind's mother looked weary from reliving their experience.

"What do these fiends look like?" Megamind said after a few minutes of silence had passed.

Megamind's parents looked at Roxanne. "Sey have as many legs as your lady here."


	8. Chapter 8

Once again, the room was filled with silence. Minion and Megamind looked between Roxanne and Megamom and dad. Roxanne stared at her extra limbs.

"D-do they resemble humans too?" Roxanne slowly lifted her head.

Megadad reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded stack of papers. "We took pictures of se creatures. Sis is what se look like. And sis is what sey look like compared to our people."

Roxanne almost passed out again.

"But these look like the spe-yder! The Arachnus Deathicus I- uh- used to torture you!" Megamind grabbed Roxanne's shoulders and stared at the pictures.

"That's a little too kinky, son. Don't let their size fool you. They destroyed our planet. They infiltrated it and killed many people. These creatures rely on each other. They can merge together to make giant forms. They are similar to a cross between the humans' Godzilla and Power Rangers. They can do harm on their own, but they are most formidable when they are together."

"How do we stop them?" Minion spoke for the first time since that morning.

"If we knew that, do you think we would be here asking for help?" Megamom snapped back. Megadad reached over and covered her hand with his. "Not that you can help. Our home planet is destroyed. We don't know of anyone who has defeated them. As far as we know, they have no weaknesses."

"I'm sure they don't," Megamind said sarcastically with a twinkle in his eye.

"Megamind, I'm going to help you with this. I've already asked off work," Roxanne said much later in the day. "I need to figure out what kind of powers I have..." Roxanne looked at her hands and many legs.

"I hope you don't shoot from that thing," Megamind said as he pointed to Roxanne's larger butt.

"I hope you're right. I would have to put holes in all of my clothes." Roxanne craned her neck back to look at her behind.

"That would be troubling," Megamind said with a sigh. He flopped down in his rolling chair. He motioned for Roxanne to come over. "Why did you have to do this behind my back? Not to point out your endowments again."

Roxanne walked clumsily over to Megamind and placed her big arse on his lap. "You wouldn't let me do it. This seemed like the right time. It was obvious from the beginning your parents weren't here for pleasure. Minion and I saw the woman who they were talking about. She's probably Metro Man's mother. She went to his hide out."

"We may need both of their help. My rival's mother killed some of them before, and Moosic Man is the only one here with actual superpowers. And he knows how to walk." Megamind kissed Roxanne's cheek. He touched one of Roxanne's extra legs.

"His mother must know some kind of secret. Your parents said they didn't know of any weaknesses, but she has to! Let's go to the schoolhouse!" Roxanne excitedly jumped up, then stumbled.

Megamind laughed loudly and pointed at Roxanne, "Ha! Ha! You should learn to walk first."

Roxanne punched Megamind in the shoulder. "Let's just go already. Minion!" Roxanne called for the fish-ape.

Minion walked into the room to see Sir mirthfully and evilly picking on Ms. Ritchie. "Yes, Ms. Ritchie?"

"Can you help me to the car?" Roxanne would have rather taken her news van, but she couldn't use a company vehicle after she asked off work.

Megamind stopped laughing. He put his hands on his hips. A look of disbelief crossed his face. "But I wanted to help you to the car!"

"You aren't being nice," Roxanne said after she put her hand on Minion's shoulder. Minion wrapped his arm around Roxanne's waist. He gave Megamind a taunting grin.

"And I suppose you want me to sit in the backseat too?" Megamind crossed his arms and huffed.

"I want you to, but I'll need the backseat with all my extra parts." Roxanne retorted over her shoulder. There was a clang and both Minion and Roxanne doubled over at the waist. "How can you not see the invisible car, Minion? It's shiny, for Pete's sake!"

After every one was more or less safely in the car, Minion drove into the bright evening. Most of the car ride was in silence. Each sentient was in his and her own thoughts. The slightly amphibious fish was in his own as well.

I wonder what my superpowers will be like. Maybe Metro Man can show me a thing or two. I would love for Megamind...er... Lex to train me, but he may be too busy devising evilly good ways to kill off these arachnids. I can't believe that spider from last year was actually an alien delegate. I blew on it! I wonder if the aliens wanted Megamind to help them destroy his own planet...

Her butt is so huge. I need to think of a way to defuse her creepy spe-yderness, but keep the back. Oh, spe-yders. That'll teach Roxanne to not believe me about Arachnus Deathicus. Wait, I'm supposed to protect the city from these spe-yder transformer things? How do you kill a spe-yder...

Neither one of them told me where we are going. They look too wrapped up in their thoughts. I don't want to disturb them to ask. I wonder what we're going to call the spider onslaught. Arachnaggedon? Spidocalypse? Web's day?

"Minion, where are we?" Megamind snapped out of his reverie and looked around.

"Well, sir, you never told me where we were going. I wasn't paying attention to where I was driving. It seems to be some sort of amusement park." A huge Ferris wheel was in front of the invisible car. There were roller coasters and tea cups on either side.

"We need to go to Metro Man's lair," Roxanne piped up from the back seat.

"What is that delicious smell?" Megamind rolled down his window. He stuck his face out. With his eyes closed, he lifted his head and sniffed the air. "Ah, popp-ed corn. Your sweet, salty deliciousness. I have missed you."

"I am not getting out of this car," Roxanne said flatly. On a normal day, she would have been thrilled to explore the 8 Banners over Metro City Fun Center and Amusement Park. However, this day was far from normal. She had been turned into a hominoid spider and told that tiny spiders were coming to destroy her hometown. She would not find any amusement in any park until the arachnids were stopped and her body was semi-normal again.

Megamind jumped out of the car. "Wait here." He crept through the crowds. His nose told him the popp-ed corn was nearby. Something was different about the smell of this popp-ed corn. He couldn't tell exactly what it was. He was determined to find out.


	9. Chapter 9

He turned a corner and found a man popping fresh popp-ed corn. He didn't have laser vision, but the corn was turning into fluffy clouds of goodness. "Give me a bag of popp-ed corn... pleeeease." Megamind added the please as an after thought. Roxanne had taught him that word. She told him to use it whenever he wanted or needed something. The concept of the word was foreign to him, but it seemed to work on people.

"It'll be $4.50," the pimply teenager said, then popped a bubble of gum. He sucked the pieces of gum back into his mouth with an obnoxious slurp.

"How about for free?" Megamind laughed his maniacal laugh and pulled out his dehydration gun.

"Alright, alright, man. Chillax!" The boy held his hands in front of him and shook his head. "Take it."

Megamind grabbed the bag of popp-ed corn. Yes, saying please always seemed to work wonders. Megamind giggled to himself as he skipped back to the invisible car. He had gotten somewhat better at seeing it since it helped save his life. A life-saving object deserves some kind of recognition.

Megamind threw a handful of popcorn into his mouth and chewed hurriedly. "Vat ifvis?" Megamind exclaimed. Bits of popcorn flew out of his mouth and landed on Minion's bowl-face.

Roxanne reached up and grabbed a handful of the popcorn. "Kettle corn. It's a lot sweeter than regular popcorn."

"This is too fantastic!" Megamind crammed more popcorn in his mouth. The popcorn in the bag was gone in less than a minute. Megamind picked the pieces off his lap and ate them. He looked at Minion and grabbed the bits Megamind spewed on him.

"Aw! No, no!" Minion and Roxanne exclaimed together. Megamind popped the soggy pieces into his mouth while Roxanne gagged a little.

"What? It was in my mouth..." Megamind looked at Roxanne with big, puppy dog eyes.

"It was soggy, cold, contaminated, and who knows where Minion has been?" Roxanne said.

"She has a point, sir. We're here!" Minion pulled up to the old schoolhouse. Music Man had kept the school how Minion remembered it. It was still the dingy little place he and Sir had gone to as kids. Before the Warden had decided they should be cell-schooled. The time they had spent in the house was the most interaction they ever had with non-imprisoned people. Granted, everyone was mean to them and nobody liked them. It was still a special time. More special than the kid on crutches.

Roxanne knocked on the door this time. It was probably the first time she had knocked before entering since Metro Man's fake untimely death. A small woman came to the door. She was slight in frame and had beautiful black hair. It had silver streaks in it like Metro Man's hair. It was more becoming on her. The silver made her hair shimmer and glow. It actually did look fluorescent, Roxanne noticed belatedly.

Besides her hair, Metro Man also seemed to get his amazingly strong chin from her. Her chin wasn't as pronounced as Metro Man's by any means. Her chin was strong for such a tiny woman. Roxanne knew instantly that this woman had seen many disasters. The woman also had the courage to help and move on. Roxanne almost couldn't believe that this was the same woman she and Minion had seen last night. Almost.

"You must be my son's friends. We've been expecting you." The woman led the trio to the lobby with all of Metro Man's memorabilia. "Have you spoken with your parents, boy?" The woman looked at Megamind sternly.

"I have. They told me about the spe-yders." Megamind said equally gravely.

"I am unfamiliar with this human term for arachnids. Since your parents have told you of the problem, I must tell you of the solution."

"Wow, that was easy," Roxanne said under her breath to Megamind and Minion. The boys nodded.

"Not as easy as you think, miss. My son has told me of your endeavors. If you want to be this town, this planet's, hero, I cannot give the answers to you. You must work for them and solve them for yourself. It is the defender's code. I can give you clues and confirm what you find. I cannot give you any hints or help besides the initial clues. You will know when you have found the answer. You have less than 3 hours before the Arachnus Deathicus lands." The woman never broke her monotone.

"I didn't know about this code! Why do I have to follow it?" Megamind said indignantly.

"You don't have to follow it, but I do," The woman said coolly. Not even heavy penguins could break her ice.

"What is the clue?" Roxanne elbowed Megamind. Sometimes he couldn't keep his mouth shut. It wouldn't help any to upset this woman.

"You have known the way to defeat them for a very long time. You were taught the way at a young age. The secret has been passed down for many human lifetimes in case the fiends came back. That is another story, however."

"And...?" Megamind said with a raised eyebrow.

"That was your clue." The woman replied.

"You've got to be kidding!" Megamind covered his face with his hands. He stood up straighter, then arched backward. He groaned from behind his hands.

"We have three hours to figure something out based on that?" Roxanne placed her hand on Megamind's shoulder, then rubbed his back.

"Two hours and forty-five minutes now. You are welcome to brainstorm here." The small woman sat on the sofa and stretched her legs out.

"I thought Metro Man was here." Minion said while looking around the room. He had never been to Metro Man's underground hideout. He remembered all of the costumes vividly. It made him think about all the times he had to save Sir. Of course, Sir was never in any real danger. He and Metro Man had a comradeship. These new foes would be even more ruthless than Hal. Hal was fueled by emotion: rejection, hate, loneliness, pride. From what Sir's parents had said, the spiders had no motives to destroy things. They wanted to do it out of boredom. Minion imagined them expressionlessly killing of people who looked like Sir and his parents. The thought made him shiver in his little fish bowl.

"My son is... preoccupied... with a few of his fans," the fierce woman kept a steely gaze on the trio. Her grey eyes twinkled when she said "preoccupied." She seemed proud of her son's virility.

"A _few_? How can he handle all of those women? I can barely handle you!" Megamind leaned to his left and whispered to Roxanne.

"I did not say they were all women. I said 'fans.' Don't you have a riddle to solve?" The woman stood up and slinked away.

"To the evil lair!" Megamind threw his hand in the air and extended his index finger.


End file.
